I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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