i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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