The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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