I just made out with a guy for $7.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
