I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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