Don't you send me to vm
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
