You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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