Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize