I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
