I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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