please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
