Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
