i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
True strength comes from lack of pants
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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