thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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