How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think i peed on brittanys purse
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
