never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
