I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
