omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
someone owes me an orgasm
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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