but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
