we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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