Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
