Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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