she was so not down for the gang bang
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
