have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
