I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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