If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He kissed a someone with a penis
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
