quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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