with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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