Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
