Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
