Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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