i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woke up backwards on a recliner
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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