in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
