you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
