i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
