That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
