sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
