i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
