He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize