im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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