Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
