Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
