The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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