I think I am morally bankrupt
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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