I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
