So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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