Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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