evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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