There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
