booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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