Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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