she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize