you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize