I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
