i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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