if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
