Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
