Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
