"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
