Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
