What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
