I'm really into asian looking animals
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize