are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
