everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
