Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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