He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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