what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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